A little shop front open to the street, with a hidden cosy outdoor dining area to the back. Here and there are scraps of wooden table tops accompanied by antique benches, rusting with an auburn coat; only looking more beautiful with the added years. Sprigs of mint and fresh flowers in baby glass jars decorate the otherwise empty tables. And in the background below the murmur of easy conversation, a soft melody floats, barely intervening but filling in the white noise of the nearby street. The freshly battered fish and chips arrives and momentarily conversation pauses as cutlery are raised. But in the sunny warmth of a winters day, talk easily picks up, reminiscing and joking about drunken nights. In these spontaneous outings, the easy relaxing companionships are enjoyed.


Her eyes were dead as she stared at the illuminated screen, her entire body still except for her right hand drawing line after line, her left inputting repetitious numbers. All around her silence reigned, except for the quiet ever constant ticking of her wrist watch, warning her of the passing time, preventing her from succumbing to her fatigue. Every now and then her head would nod, her eyes open but mind vacant. In an instant, jerking back from the micro sleep to resume. And thus it continued, not only for the rest of the night but for the many nights to come.

Such is the woe of an architecture student. 


I’ve always been a reader. A bookworm, one of those girls whose perfect morning would be defined by a thick novel and a cup of steaming coffee, whittling away the hours curled up in a comfy armchair. From my earliest recollection, I remember knowing my primary school library inside out, stealing my older brother’s fantasy books to read, and skipping past the meagre collection of teenage fiction to the much larger adult collection. I even remember being scolded by my strict religious catholic primary school for bringing The Da Vinci Code to read to school, not that I cared.

I loved books. Fantasy, romance, slice of life, it did not matter as long as it was well written, spinning a tale as vivid as day, as you hold your breath awaiting the next page. And that’s where the magic lies, from merely stringing a few flimsy words together, a story is woven, the reader’s imagination invoked. It doesn’t magically transport you to another world, nothing can do that. But it does take you away from the day in day out of your mundane life. Taking your mind off the constant whisperings of thoughts, overcrowded and bustling in that small space, jostling for prominence. Giving you quiet as each mental word rolls off the tongue, fabricating a brilliant image of colour.

I’m the sort that literally cannot put the book down, impatient for the story. Give me a good book, and I’ll have it finished in a few days no matter the thickness, a week at most. It’s not very beneficial when you have homework piling up on the side, but then again the homework fades from mind from the first word and it is that from which I seek to escape.


Sometimes it’s nice to escape to nature. Surrounded in all directions by trees, silent and solitary. Makes you realise how small and insignificant your world really is. Silence reigns as not a spoken word is heard, as the mechanical, blaring white noise of the urban cityscape engrained into your very being fades into a distant memory. But when a breeze from places unknown chances upon you, your silent surroundings explode into a symphony of sounds. The soft chime of millions upon millions of leaves dancing with the new breath of air. The trees themselves swaying from side to side, completely in sync to an age old song that only they could hear. Overhead, the echoing cries of a bird gliding above, a single black speck framed against the lazy white voluptuous clouds.

Time takes on a transient quality, for once in our busy lives the ever present hands shifting with each passing second grow silent, mute against the sounds of Mother Nature. You marvel, you wonder, you ponder til you can no longer delay the beckoning calls. It’s time to return to reality.


The ocean is scary yet strangely calming. When you are but a single dot in the endless blue, bobbing up and down in the ebb and flow of the waves, you feel at peace. You may be surrounded but are still alone. The horizon in the distance a mystifying concept, calling to you yet unattainable. Then comes a wave bigger than the rest, inescapable and towering over your minute little being. A mouthful of salt. Eyes streaming with tears. Now you try to escape this large unforgiving expanse of water. But the drag pulls you back, unwilling to let go and you get out but two words before being pulled under again. Gasping, and coughing you resurface, resuming your rush to the pure white sand. Trembling and cold, you pull your world weary body to the beach towel wondering why you entered in the first place, that calm serenity a forgotten idea.


A lone eagle circling in the misty morning sky above the numerous skyscrapers. The streets quiet, the shops closed, even the blaring traffic fewer by the many. By all means, a curious contrast to the night.

As the sun fades into the distance and the artificial neon signs and lights begin to flash, the night comes alive. The darkness illuminated by the superficial hedonistic shine as barely a single tree is in sight in the barren landscape. Barren yet not devoid of life, as the streets and roads are pulsating with people and cars, the lifeblood of the city. Sound from every angle, the click of a heel, the stomp of a boot, the irritating buzzing beep of the flashing walk sign. Every second shop selling food on the go, equipped with a styrofoam cup and kebab stick. Takoyaki, onigiri, crackling pork, greasy sausages and skewers of fish tofu, fish balls, meat balls to name a few.

A night light show at 8.00pm sharp by Victoria Harbour lit up the various office buildings and sky scrapers. Green and white lasers shoot towards the cloudy sky, pointing towards the heavens, accompanied by corny upbeat Chinese music. The view spectacular from the Avenue of Stars, as the crowds flock to the railings, taking a moment to pause in their busy night to admire the flashing lights, reflecting upon the gentle waves of the water.

Then as the moon fades into the distance, and the sun slowly peeps out from the horizon, the night life again disappears and the quiet resumes once more.  





I punched the wall, the searing pain, a welcoming, comforting, distraction. Again, and again, till a hazy red mark remained, a permanent stain on the wall. I closed my eyes, wanting it all to end. I just felt so tired.

I leaned my head against the wall for a second; everything seemed to be a blur. Everything seemed too gruelling, impossible. Could I still continue?

I took off my black coat, it's carefully ironed side, soon lay crumpled on the ground. The flower in the top pocket, a delicate red rose. Eternity? I crushed it in the palm of my hand.

Next I loosened my tie. The exact one which I had done over and over just this morning, standing in front of the mirror, frantic to make it perfect. I slumped down into a chair, rubbing my bloodshot eyes.

I needed to forget, if not forever, just for now till things seemed more bearable. I grabbed my keys and left, the door slamming shut behind me.

Even as I drove, the morning's events haunted me. No note, no message, no text, no phone call. No appearance at all. Ninety eight guests left waiting and offering me their words and sympathies.

I arrived at the bar, vaguely aware of my surroundings but mainly focused on the drink I was going to get. I sat into a chair, and indicated to the boy serving me I wanted the strongest he had. Money shoved in his hands soon soothed his qualms.

Had I known that it would happen? No, I was clueless but thinking now, she did leave a few clues, didn't she? The times she didn't answer the phone. The times she disappeared for a while, coming back making an excuse she was with friends.

It hurt, it hurt a lot. I resolved to not thinking about it, just downing shot after shot of a nameless alcohol. I don't get drunk easily, and most times it's a blessing, but right now all I wanted was the fuzzy feeling, oblivious to the world that alcohol could provide.

Soon the boy stopped providing me with alcohol, and my head slumped to the table, the two rings tight in my fist.


A surreal feeling, real at the time, but not so now. The feeling of watching through someone else’s eyes, privy to their thoughts, but at the same time disconnected. And here I was.

A white room, darkening with the fading light, plain and empty except for a single hospital like bed. Upon it lay a woman in her late twenties or early thirties. To put it simply, she was beautiful. Her long tumbling black hair was sprawled down her shoulders, partially covering her white patient clothing. Her face serene, almost sleeping yet somehow, I knew she was not. And where was I? Standing, still, staring down at her with a lump in my throat, unable to speak. Unable to utter a single sound.

How long this continued, I don’t know. In these circumstances, time takes on a transient quality and disappears fleetingly, neither asking for permission nor caring. What I did know though, was a strong heavy tone weighing down upon me. A tenseness that betrayed I was waiting for something. And when I returned my gaze to her face, I noticed the second tone, simultaneous with the first. An overwhelming sense of sadness, indescribable and unidentifiable. Did I know of something which I had since forgotten?

Again a passing of time, blank and empty, but next thing I knew I was gently pulling her up into sitting position, looping over her head a necklace. Gently, as if dealing with a fragile object, cracked and fractured, just about to shatter. I carefully cleared away her hair, sweeping it out from under the necklace. I remember giving her one last tight hug, despite her unconscious state and wanting to cry yet unable to. And what of the sense of waiting? It had been replaced as if I knew a certain time was approaching, was that why I had wanted a last hug? To grab a hold of the chance before it faded before my eyes.

What was approaching next, I don’t think I’ll ever know. Awaken rudely back into reality, lying in bed, and staring confused at the ceiling was where I was. But where was she? Who was she? Did I know her? Have I forgotten her? Why did I feel like crying? A dozen questions flooded my head, as the scene was still fresh in my mind. But as the days pass since that night my memory fades, til even her face becomes a blur of features, unknown to me. And as the calendar ticks away, I will probably be only able to remember fleeting glimpses through reading this entry, a reconstruction in itself. But I know this, if the opportunity arises, I wish I had spent a moment longer with her, despite the sorrow and uneasy nature to gain some answers and a conclusion. Maybe, just maybe, another night will bring an end to this chapter.


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